Tuesday, August 31, 2010


Max was in a bad mood when I went to pick him up today.  Then he was fine for most of the day.  SKD got home late and I went out to dinner and that made Max mad.
Had dinner with my cousin and my mom and sister and niece.  I ate too much but at least it was on plan.  I don't think I need much at the store tomorrow.  
I'm tired so I think I'll go to sleep soon.  I almost forgot to write in here.

Monday, August 30, 2010


I got some stuff done today.  I made three bracelets, did two loads of laundry (one was diapers), made cheesecake muffins, made butter chicken, drank my water (well, am working on the last bottle now), cleaned up the living room, and put Max's toys away.  I also did my morning pages.  I did not work out.  I went to the grocery store.  
I'm not sure what else.  I'm glad I'm doing stuff, but kind of annoyed with myself that I didn't work out.
Also I have to figure out how to deal with the ends on these bracelets I made because they aren't going to feed through the beads.
My beads have shipped.  
I also didn't write for two hours.  Or go through the Jeff Herman book.  Well, I can't do everything.  And I did a lot.  I need to go dry the laundry that's in the washer because it's a lot of Max's clothes and he needs them for tomorrow.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

No cake Sunday

So I resisted the cake again today.  I am way behind on water so am drinking some with Crystal Lite because I can drink that faster.  I intend to catch up and be on target.
I have gotten some stuff accomplished on my goal list today but not everything.  I'm going to make my cheesecake muffins tonight and I've gotten the chicken for my butter chicken marinating.  And I cleaned out the fridge.  I didn't make my chart and I didn't get the laundry put away.  But I'm going to do flylady stuff tomorrow and that's going to be good.
I ordered my beads.  I want to do something else productive.  Right now I'm watching Leverage so it has to be something I can do at the same time.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Headache Saturday

Today has been pretty much of a wash.  I had a headache and took a nap, still had a headache and took a Tylenol 4.  Now headache is gone, Max is going to bed, and I am drinking my water but am behind.  Maybe we're going to watch The Wolfman tonight but I'm not sure.  SKD got it from Netflix.
I'm currently in the process of still catching up on Burn Notice.  
The MGD 64 ads really bother me.  Michelob Ultra only has like 95 calories, so what?  The guy has to burn off 30 calories to make the difference?  Big fucking deal.
Just finished talking to SKD about various things.  I am now even further behind with my water but I will catch up.  I'm tired of not losing weight and feeling blah, so I'm going to catch up.  Plus, I'm thirsty.
Okay, back to tv.

Friday, August 27, 2010


 I read the first 70 pages of Jeff Herman.  I'll go through 70 pages every day and then I'll have it read in 15 days.  That seems reasonable.  It's not like I have to read every page.
Working on Hornet's Nest.  
And I made two bracelets that my mom took.  
I also ate my PF Chang's beef with broccoli but with no rice.  I was super hungry so that made me go over in carbs but I still didn't eat many calories today.
I'm behind on my water but I need to catch up on it because of all the salt in my dinner.  It was really salty but still very good, like I remembered.  I thought maybe I wouldn't like it anymore.
I wish the dvr wasn't fucking up.  I don't really know what is going on in this Burn Notice I'm watching.  I'm trying to catch up on my tv.  I have so much to watch.
I am trying to keep my spirits up.  I am not doing so well though.  
I hate worrying about money.  Something needs to happen with that.  I really want to be financially independent.  And this worry is such a hindrance.
Maybe I will order my beads.  And I have starting ideas for my sketchbook project.  So that is something.  I have lots of good ideas, I just need to implement them.
We're going to the APL rummage sale tomorrow morning.  And I'm going to see if they still have that lamp that I liked.  They probably won't but that's okay.
I got some pink pens today and that is fun.  And some new ear buds.  Skull Candy.
All right.  That's enough for now.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Not a slacker today!

So this morning we went to Becky's and that was fun.  I did have peaches but no zucchini bread, bagels, or blueberry cake.  I'm hungry now and have had a piece of string cheese and some smoked almonds.  I will fix something more substantial soon.  This just isn't cutting it.
My mom will probably come over pretty soon.  It's Natalee's birthday today, and her party is later on.  I think I'll stop by the library on my way there so I can pick up my books that I have on hold.  There are three of them now, one of them being Jeff Herman's Guide to Book Publishers, Editors, and Literary Agents 2010, 20E: Who They Are! What They Want! How to Win Them Over! (Jeff Herman's Guide ... Editors, Publishers, and Literary Agents).  I checked that out before and couldn't renew it.  I guess whoever requested it didn't bother to get it and their hold expired.
Still no word from my friend who is living in my house.  I'm getting mad about that.
Okay, I guess I'll go try to remember what I wanted to order from ArtBeads because my computer froze and I had to restart it and everything was lost.  Grr.

I'm a slacker entry two

Yesterday I had therapy and I did my long workout.  I was also down to 177, and apparently I haven't been that weight since before October of 2008.  So that was nice.
I also went grocery shopping and gave Max a bath.  I'm so worried he's going to get lice from school.
I also took a shower and SKD and I had sex for babymaking even though I wasn't really in the mood.  I think I already ovulated but I keep not taking my temperature so I have no idea.
I started reading The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest and am on page 49 or so.

I'm a slacker entry one

I seem to have missed Tuesday and Wednesday!  I have no idea what happened there.
Tuesday--I don't remember what I did.  I guess nothing exciting.  I did work out.  And that is all I can say about that.  

Monday, August 23, 2010


So I have lost ten pounds.  I wish I could keep up that pace or more.  It would be great to be at goal in February.  But I expect my loss will slow down.
I am tired and didn't work out.  I am behind on my water and I don't think I'll be catching up.  But I have eaten well.
I don't think I'm very responsible.  That upsets me.  I'm going to work on that.
I ate a fabulous meal of that welsh cheddar with mustard seeds, duck pate with truffles, and those really good weird olives that are green and taste a lot like black ones only better.
I took Athey out to the Verizon store to see about her and Mommy's messed up phones.  It didn't really help but we'll see what happens tomorrow.
I need to make my chart.

For Sunday

Missed yesterday.  I wasn't busy, just being slack.
I didn't do much and that's okay at one level but not at another.
If I didn't have so many days of doing nothing it wouldn't be a big deal.
About the only thing I managed to do is put together Max's new storage thing, but it's still in the living room.
I'll write about today when I get back from taking Athey to get a new phone.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Sad Saturday

I'm sad.  I just watched Juno and that was sad.  And other things have been making me cry as well although I don't know what those things were anymore.
I know I'm tired.  And I know things aren't all right in my life.
I really want to be losing weight.  And I am sad that I didn't exercise.  I just don't have any energy.  And I couldn't find a good time to.
We went to Target and the Dollar Store today.  That was good.  I got nothing impractical.
Maybe I'll go to sleep early.  SKD and I had sex this afternoon.  Always a pleasant surprise when it's not at night.  
Max took a long nap and tonight he put all of his toys up on the train table.  That was surprising and his room looks a lot better.
Maybe I can figure out something good to eat tomorrow.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Friday musings

I am very tired and trying to use that as an excuse not to work out.  But I want to work out.  But I don't want to.  I am very sleepy.
Max is being very desirous of mommy attention tonight.  That is fine except I am so tired.  And I won't be able to work out until after he goes to bed because he doesn't like it when I work out.
Lately he has been telling Pierre, "Stop talking to me!"  I don't know what Pierre is saying to him.  A few minutes ago he told Pierre that he had to share his animals.  
I finally listed an item on Etsy.  I think it got 2 views.  That is kind of depressing but I'll live.  I really want to make some more stuff to list.  And I know I will start selling stuff eventually.
I am so far behind on my water.  And for some reason I keep snacking even though I'm not really all that hungry.  I thought coconut bark was supposed to curb that tendency!  Oh well.  I hope I see a loss tomorrow but with all the grazing I'm not going to count on it.
I got to work on someone else's newer and fancier Mac and I quite like that one.  Mine is okay but the other one was a superior machine.  
Oh well.  I'm going to stop being down on myself.  I'm feeling bad at the moment and I want to snap out of it.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Therapy Thursday

Today has been pretty good but my throat is sore again.  I was going to start my workout and now I don't want to because of that.  
I ate boiled peanuts for most of the day.  I wonder if I will lose anything.  I don't like being up a pound. 
I'm sleepy.  I had so much trouble sleeping last night and then Pierre woke me up at 6:15.  I woke up at 3 and was up until around 5, so had gotten back to sleep not too much before that.
I felt fine all day but now I'm tired.
I will have two cups of tea and that will be the last of my water for the day, I think.  I'm quite happy with myself for the most part.
I finally took a shower this afternoon.
Max and I went to my mom's for my dad's birthday party.  That was fun, and I didn't have any cake.  Daddy liked his presents from me.
I'm waiting to give the fig preserves to Barb.
Max and Natalee seemed to have a lot of fun playing together today.
I am going to go get Max's night time stuff together.  And maybe boil some water for tea.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010


My mom gave me the box of beads.  It looks like if I make any jewelry it will be mermaid-themed.  That's fine because I like mermaids, but they aren't necessarily creepy.  I can make them creepy, though.
I want to be more like myself.  I don't feel like I am the person I want to be.
I need money.  And I'm going to have to make a trip to Atlanta to find out what the hell is going on at my house since the person there isn't letting me know.  I am very frustrated.
I'm all out of sorts because of the money.  I really really need money and all my worrying isn't helping me get it any faster.
I'm going to write and do something else crafty I guess and that will make me feel better.  I'm sure that the coffee I had on too little sleep isn't helping my stomach out, which is of course contributing to my sick feeling. 
Well, I'll make it work.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

For Today

I worked on my book some today.  And I was down a pound!  Stayed on plan all day and am drinking the last of my water in some decaf chocolate tea.  It doesn't really taste like chocolate but it smells fantastic.  And it's not bad with cream and splenda.
I mixed my yogurt with almond butter, brown sugar splenda, and cinnamon.  Yum.
And I had my chicken and cauliflower.  I am just not really very hungry.
Right now I'm feeling quite warm.  Maybe from the tea.
I don't think I have anything else to say.  I missed my therapy appointment today--I thought it was tomorrow.
Tomorrow we're going to the grocery store.  And I am going to get not much food.  I got peanuts today so I'll boil those tomorrow.
I sure would like to feel more interesting.  And I hope I'm down another pound tomorrow.

For Yesterday

I neglected to write yesterday so you get two posts today, not like anyone is even reading but it's the principle of the thing.
I had a sore throat yesterday and felt kind of lousy for most of the day.  But I still got things done--a load of laundry, clean sink, new sheets on everyone's beds, food to eat.  And I took Pierre for a walk.
Watched tv and took Max to school for his first day.  That was fine.
I'm still worried about money as usual.
Oh, and I got milk and a couple of other things at EarthFare.
Max peed in the potty at school!  I was super excited.  He won't go at home, though.  I was there when he did this, so I was very proud of him.
Had lots of tea yesterday.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Sick Sunday

Tummy problems today.  And only a half pound loss to go with it.  That just doesn't seem fair.  I'm drinking some hot (herbal) tea right now.  I'm way behind on water but I'll catch up.
Max is napping.  
My mom and I went to EarthFare with Natalee but they were out of whole milk so we have to go back tomorrow.  That sucks!  Oh well.  I am making yogurt for my yogurt fast.  I'll be doing one low carb meal and then the rest of the day yogurt.  I guess I'm going to freeze my chicken breasts unless I make them later on.
I'm giving Athey a massage tonight after Max goes to bed.  
I don't know if I have much else to say.  
I'm kind of feeling blah and down.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Saturday storms

I had my piano thing today which was okay but not fantastic.  Just me and one other person played.
I am pretty tired now because I didn't sleep well and then woke up early.  No nap.
Dinner at Garabaldi's was really good.  Got the grouper with the poivre sauce and spinach instead of linguini.  Very tasty.  I did have a little piece of bread but that is okay.
I hope I have a loss tomorrow.  Despite the bread.
Suzy and Peter are here and Max was friendly to them which is always nice.  I got home after dinner before Max was in bed so I got to read him stories but missed the diaper drama.
I think I'll start a new book but I don't know what I want to read.

Friday, August 13, 2010


Why am I not losing weight?  I'm so pissed.  
I went to my mom's and practiced this evening.  
I'm not sure what else to say.  I took a nap today.  Went to Alice's.  
Played with Max.  
I've found the story I started that is the other side of Running Towards Nothing.  I guess I'll put that in Scrivener.
I really like pate.  Now it's all gone.  
Maybe the extra fiber I took will help me move things along and I'll finally see a loss.  

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Headache AGAIN

Why do I keep getting headaches?  I feel like I have them all the time these days.  Today I got my period.  That sucks.  Oh well, at least now I know why I gained a pound the other day.  I'm down a half pound now.
I'm a little behind on my water.  I get to watch Project Runway tonight, which makes me happy.
We went over to my dad's today and I forgot his birthday presents.  I'm so lame sometimes.  Max didn't want to go but he was fine when we got there.  He played with his trains and chattered away.
It was nice to see them and I'm glad we went over there.  Now to figure out how to make it a more regular event.
We are going to Garabaldi's on Saturday!  I'm so excited.  It is my favorite restaurant.
I have my piano thing in the afternoon so I guess I need to figure out about that.  
David bought my painting to hang up in his Green Quad office.  So I guess it's staying in the family.  Apparently they didn't do the art thing very well, so I'm not really disappointed but I am kind of.  Oh well.
Well, I don't have anything else to say.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010


We went to Publix today.  They didn't have ground chuck so no red meat for me.  I did finally find some unsauced chicken wings so that's good.
I wonder if my tenant is dead.  She does not text or email me back.  
I think I am working towards my financial goal for the month, which is something.
Tonight is dinner at my mom's with Athey.
I need to take a shower.
I am tired and didn't take a nap today.  I think I'm taking celery to my mom's so I can put pate on it.  Since I can't have bread.  I hope that tastes okay.  I love pate.
I am so tired of not losing weight.  I wish I could lose it quickly but I guess this is the more sensible way.  Sigh.
Tomorrow afternoon Max and I are going to visit my dad.
I am on track with my water for today.
Wow, I am like the most exciting person ever.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Headache today

I had a headache for most of the day today but I did take a Tylenol 4 and it's gone now.  I am way behind on my water and that makes me annoyed with myself.
I am also hungry but I don't really feel like fixing anything which has me in a bit of a conundrum.
I have to get Max's bedtime stuff ready.  
I'm going to work out sometime but I haven't yet.  Nor have I written my morning pages. 
I want to have a better schedule and actually start getting things done.  
I am ready to be a success.  I just have to make it happen.
Max put his puzzle together with the back side up today.  I guess he decided it was too easy to do the regular way.  I thought that was pretty impressive.
I think I'm probably going to get my period which is disappointing.  But oh well.  This will give me more time to lose weight.  I was up a pound today and that makes me mad.  But not mad enough to give up.
Well, I guess I'm going to go do something.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Working Monday

Well, I actually worked for pay for an hour and a half today.  And I did laundry, and worked out.  Took care of Max.  
I'm glad I am earning money although it's just a trickle at the moment and will be less than ten percent of my paltry goal.  I really need two thousand dollars yesterday.
I was back down a half pound this morning, which is disappointing since I wanted to lose more.  But at least I'm back moving in the right direction.
I don't know what else I'll be getting done this week.
When I told Max it was nap time today he said, "Sorry Mommy, not taking a nap today!"  I have no idea where that came from.
My back feels okay despite my long workout.
I'm trying to catch up on my water.  That's always a challenge.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Can't decide

So I've just set up an Etsy account so I'll have Creepy Domestic to sell household spooky things and Scarebabe somewhere else to sell baby spooky things.  Right now I'm just going to post on Creepy Domestic I think, but maybe not.  Maybe I'll start with Scarebabe over on hyenacart.  I can't decide.
My back is hurting again.  Sitting on the floor with Max helping him to put trains together really didn't help.
I'm having digestive issues but am hungry now so maybe I'll go make chicken wings.
And I have nothing else to report.


Max said he was sad because it was Sadderday.  
My mom was a lot more supportive today which makes me happy.  I got my office more straightened up and put down the rug we got at the APL sale.
No weight loss which as usual is disappointing.  I did fine and worked out and ate well today.  Maybe tomorrow I'll be rewarded.
I am having a hard time figuring out how to drink enough water.  I really don't much care for water.
I dyed my hair tonight.  Black again.  I haven't looked at it so I don't know how it turned out.
I don't know what else.  I'm not getting a lot done.  I want to do better with that.

Friday, August 6, 2010

My life isn't great right now

I really need money.  I hate this.  I want $2000 just to put in the bank so I can catch up, maybe not be too far behind on my bills.  How do I get this?  I'm so unhappy and worried about money that it's hard to feel like things are going to be okay.
And then there's the house.  What is going on with it?  Why is my tenant not letting me know?  What's happening with the other person who is supposed to move in?  Are they still going to foreclose on it?  Who knows?
I wish my mom wouldn't ask me questions about it, and I wish that when I talked to her about my ideas for my online shop she wouldn't say the things she says that make me feel like it's a bad idea and I'm going to fail at it.  And that even if I work at it I'm still not going to make any money.  It's very discouraging.  I don't have anyone in my life who is supportive of this kind of thing and I don't know what to do about it.
I am going to do it.  I'm going to have a successful online shop and get my Halloween B&B and get my novels published.  And they will be successes.  I am going to get all of this.  I will succeed.  And I'm also going to succeed at losing weight.  I already am succeeding at that.
I so want another baby.  Maybe I will get pregnant this cycle.  I hope so.  I am so tired of trying.  I mean the actually trying part is fun but the waiting is not.
Okay, that's my life right now and why it's not great.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Meatloaf recipe in case it turns out

Something over 1 lb. ground chuck
1 egg
around 3 T coarse mustard
around 3 T sriracha sauce
couple of shakes of soy sauce
1 tsp. brown sugar Splenda blend

Preheat oven to 350.  Mix all ingredients in bowl.  Divide and put into 6 count muffin tin.  Bake for 20 minutes.

Verdict: Meatloaf is a little bit tough, but I'm not what sure to use as a binder since it's low carb.  I made it with 2 tsp. brown sugar Splenda blend and that was too sweet.  I might put in a little more mustard next time.  But it was pretty good, quick to make, and on plan.  I had it with a salad.

Max's little girlfriend is moving to Atlanta.  That's disappointing to me and I've been unhappy about it since I found out.  We went and got our 10 ears of local corn for $1 and our free dozen eggs with $5 purchase from EarthFare today.  So now I have 3 dozen eggs in the fridge.  Well, now 35 eggs because I used one in the meatloaf.  I also got more heavy cream since I only got one yesterday.  
Tomorrow I'm getting my paint so I can make my art to donate.  
I lost 2.5 pounds yesterday!  I'm quite excited about it.
Max is complaining so I'd better see what is wrong.  He went in the sprinkler at school today with all of his clothes on.  They had been asking him if he wanted to go in and he said no, but once everyone else was in there he decided to go in too.  I guess that's what changes of clothes are for.
I hope the meatloaf turns out ok because I'm hungry!!

Tonight maybe I'll make the Chicken Luzane again and the mashed cauliflower but I'm not sure.  I probably should just have bacon and eggs since I have so many of them.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

It's getting late

I worked out super late today.  I don't like doing that but I didn't have a chance to this morning.
I am worried about money.  What else is new?
I want to have a good life, better than what I have.  My life isn't terrible, but I want more than this.
And I want to do something about it but I never do.  That's kind of silly.
Well, right now I'm doing something about diet and exercise.  But that isn't going to change my life.
I'm going to have a good and productive day tomorrow.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Give corn a break!!!

Why all the hatin' on corn?  I know high-fructose corn syrup is bad, but corn is so much more than that!  It's a vegetable and a grain, not just a grain!  And it's definitely not all bad.  It's been a primary grain source for some cultures for thousands of years.  You'd think that if it were teh evil those people wouldn't exist anymore.  And corn on the cob is one of the best things ever.  
So fuck off, all you corn haters!

I'm also going to give props to bacon.  I put fresh bacon bits on my salad today and it tasted so much better than yesterday's salad!

I'm tired right now and have to go pick up Max.  I did my workout after my piano lesson and also paid the rent.  So that's some stuff accomplished today.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Creative writing

I wrote a lot yesterday in a couple of hours but I am behind.  That's fine.  I will do my best to catch up today.
I did my short workout today and I hope it doesn't screw me up.  I am kind of sore but glad I did it.  I haven't done my other stretches.
We went to Joann's and EarthFare.  I got a canvas and some Halloween stuff at Joann's and the usual at EarthFare.  
I have to go get Max pretty soon.  I wish I had my back brace.  
I am behind on my water.  But I will catch up on that too.
I had a lot of trouble sleeping last night.  That always sucks.
I wish I could earn some money so I wouldn't have to get a real job.  I am going to do that.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Feeling sad and I don't know why

I don't know if I'm detoxing, feeling sorry for myself, or what is going on, but I am just sitting here crying.  I don't have that much of a reason to.  I think part of it is my back, but I just feel kind of silly.  I started crying looking at Max and thinking about how much I love him.  And now I am just crying and can't pinpoint anything in particular that is upsetting.
There are a number of things I'm not really happy about, but nothing new.  And it's not that time of the month so that's not it.
I just hope I feel better soon. 
I've washed diapers and one load of laundry and then I have to do darks.  Eventually I'll get caught back up but not right now.
SKD is at work and Max is taking a nap.  I just caught up on Huge and now I don't know what I want to do.  I don't feel like doing much of anything.


I have been catching up on episodes of Huge.  I saw part of the first one and didn't watch any others, and now I've decided to start watching it again and I have to get caught up.
We went blueberry picking in the morning.  My back wasn't so bad but it feels worse now.  I hope it gets better soon.  I didn't work out today.
I did eat on plan, but I only lost half a pound yesterday and that is disappointing.  I want to be doing better than that!
I finished the Maisie Dobbs I was reading and have one left.  I took a nap this afternoon which was nice.
I am not tired and it's pretty late so I don't know what I'm going to do.  I will probably go read for awhile.